It’s Michelle MacDonald http://www.familyinnocence.com Yet another reason to stay clear of family court. Judges regularly to do whatever they want with your children and property with their “broad discretion,” including violating civil rights. Here a judge was caught on tape forcing her way into a man’s home to search for property, seizing DVDs, yearbooks and pictures off the wall, the judge threatened to arrest the man for recording. After the man sued, the judge, she invoked “judicial immunity”, a form of sovereign immunity, which protects judges and others employed by the judiciary from liability resulting from their judicial actions. But this time, by the grace of God, the Court of Appeals has finally recognized that searching someone’s home is unacceptable behavior. Ever since I can remember, Judges regularly violate constitutional rights through attorneys and other “officers of the court.” God is at work through the Institute of Justice. Read more.
Enjoy the Ride: Restorative Justice Circle Mediation Training Movie May 5, 2023
Spread the bird!
Familycourt.com is a site dedicated to abolishing court for families. Our motto: Don’t go to Family Court, go to Familycourt.com familycourt.com Our world, and yours, is full family conflicts to resolve, conflicts that strain and drain us financially and emotionally. Learn how to resolve your own family conflicts, or help others resolve theirs, or become a qualified restorative justice mediator by participating in Enjoy the Ride: Restorative Justice Circle Mediation Training – the movie series. While the sitcom, Cheers, was set in a bar, in this 6 season entertaining Edu-film, you will enjoy the ride in a classroom. Learn the peace-making dialogue, and how to restore or reconcile a strained or broken relationship – or you’re going to spend a lot of your life miserable. How to resolve conflict in your marriage? if your a parent with children? How to resolve conflict with friends, in the community, at church, in a small group, literally everywhere. Here’s the problem: nobody ever taught you. Until Enjoy the Ride! Wherever you are in the world, call Michelle MacDonald at 612-554-0932 directly to arrange to participate in this revolutionary way to teach and learn. Family Innocence is a nonprofit dedicated to keeping families out of the court adversarial process. Check out familyinnocence.com
Feeling Like Jerry Maguire, by lawyer Michelle MacDonald, Founder Family Innocence, 2011 Mission Statement March 23, 2021
“That families can expected to live their daily lives within the pages of a court order is a fallacy. The courts set them up to fail.” — Attorney Michelle MacDonald
http://www.familyinnocence.com/what-do-you-stand-for/“If anybody else wants to come with me, this moment will be the beginning of something real, and fun, and inspiring in this God forsaken business — and we will do it together!”—Attorney Michelle MacDonald, founder Family Innocence, 2011
http://www.familyinnocence.com/what-do-you-stand-for/
Feeling Like Jerry Maguire …
THE THINGS WE LAWYERS THINK AND DO NOT SAY
The Future of Our Business
Family Lawyer Dreams of Abolishing Family Court
“ Are you coming with me?”
Hello. It’s attorney Michelle L. MacDonald. This year marks the 25th anniversary of my family law practice, my 50 years of being alive, and the 15th anniversary of the movie, Jerry Maguire. Oh, and I became a grandmother.
In January, inspired by my clients, my grandson, Jerry Maguire and Pope John Paul II, I wrote a Miracle Mission Statement:
Abolish Family Court (as we know it)
Keeping Broken Families Out of the Adversary Process
I invite you to come on this miracle mission with me.
“That’s how you become great, man. Hanging your balls out there” — printer to Jerry Maguire
For a quarter century, I earned my living by pursuing my client’s rights in family court. I had an epiphany when Benedictus, a single father, and his son, Costas, suffered an incredible injustice. One ordinary day, this dad went to his son’s bus stop, and his son wasn’t there. Panicked, he called the school, and was told of a family court order depriving him of all custodial rights.
As his attorney, I learned that with no notice, no court jurisdiction, and no child abuse (even alleged), Benedictus’ son was instantly taken from him by a relative, her attorney, and an inattentive Judge who all opined that it was in his “best interest. ”
Stranger yet, the boy’s mother had died, so there was no other parent to fight with. And since the simple third party custody order did not specify dad’s parenting time— he didn’t get any.
“Who had I become? Just another shark in a suit?” — Jerry Maguire
My legal success in getting the custody order extinguished, the case dismissed, and the Judge removed —and $50,596.00 in unpaid legal fees — could not repair the damage caused by the instant disruption to this father and son with court authority.
Immersed in the family court for years, until meeting Benedictus, I did not comprehend family court jurisdiction, or its absence.
And because this good father was reluctant to abruptly remove his son from his environment (unlike the original perpetrators), and with no cooperation with reunification therapy, possession of his son remained with the relative, without any custody order.
“I had so much to say and no one to listen” — Jerry Maguire
I petitioned the Supreme Court to have my attorney fees paid by the offending attorney for misconduct. To defend against the fees, the relative’s attorney referenced the custody order that was vacated, asserted her custody motion was filed in “good faith”, and a Judge’s broad discretion to determine a child’s “best interest.”
I was blown away by the appellate court decision stating that even though the relative’s custody case was dismissed, because this father showed up in court to contest the custody order, there was family court jurisdiction.
Now this father required court intervention for the delicate return of his son, with no money for therapy, or his lawyer.
“I began writing what is called a mission statement. You know, a suggestion for the future of our company” -Jerry Maguire
With my failure to understand why the government’s judicial branch signed this custody order, I silently came to the radical belief that family courts should be abolished, and wrote a Mission Statement.
After recalling “dicta” (another word for irrelevant), where appellate court judges discussed removing the family court from the adversary process, I took a more diplomatic approach, and started a mission to keep broken families out of the adversary process one case at a time.
“I hated my place in the world. I had so much to say and no one to listen” — Jerry Maguire
I read a 286 page report by a Joint-Physical-Child-Custody-Presumption-Study Group detailing the pros and cons of joint custody.
Why could I now boil these pages down to one sentence?:
You are 100% your child’s parent, even when you break up.
Okay, I’m lawyer, two sentences:
You are 100% your child’s parent, even when you break up. Children are stuck with their knucklehead parents.
Sorry, it’s the lawyer in me… One more sentence:
Judges and lawyers are not in the business of rearranging nature.
“I had lost the ability to bullshit. It was the me I always wanted to be” — Jerry Maguire
In a custody case, appealed twice, with 50 court motions, the parents ultimately settled for joint physical custody with parenting time revolving around their work and social schedules.
In that case, I asked the Judge to order “Peace”, and he did —- on the record, but would not sign a written Peace Order I sent. When I asked him why, the Judge asked me to “define Peace.”
Over 25 years, orders have evolved from simple custody orders, with reasonable parenting time, to complex dogmas, intended to micromanage the parents relationship with each other, and the child, and to span a child’s minority years, and beyond. Custody orders written by lawyers and judges include details that parents living together refer to as “common sense,” even to the point of prohibiting disparaging remarks.
Breakups, ranging from parents together only to conceive, to married couples, should be about working out a schedule with the child, if a parent wants one. Courts are involved because parents and their attorneys ask, and Judge’s reply.
Judges, with no conception of your family’s definition of “Peace”, should be left out of it.
“That families can expected to live their daily lives within the pages of a court order is a fallacy. The courts set them up to fail.” — Michelle MacDonald
Court orders quickly become obsolete. Parents soon recognize that court orders cannot provide for the endless contingencies. Their compass is off.
Litigants that take court orders seriously, do not deviate; and return to court for changes, or to find the other parent in contempt.
At the other extreme (and the best case scenario), parents abandon the court order altogether, allowing family life to play out. These ideal parents may continue to disagree, but do not involve their lawyers or the court, if only because they ran out of money. As attorneys and judges, we know that courts are not particularly interested in enforcing the details of a final custody order.
No matter which parent you side with, we pretend that possession is not 9/10ths of the law. Parents and their lawyers are allowed to engage in endless criticism of the other parent, without their client ever having been a “witness”, like allegations that the a parent applied the wrong amount of suntan lotion on a child at the beach, or complaints that a parent purchased too many pairs of prescription eye glasses for the child.
But how relevant are these complaints, and would parents be so critical if the court wasn’t watching?
“To say it out loud. To put yourself out there so openly, no nakedly” — Dorothy Boyd
In 2000, the United States Supreme Court ruled that the 14th Amendment to the Constitution provides that fit parents have a constitutional right to make decisions regarding the “care, custody, and control” of their children (citing Troxel v. Granville, 530 U.S. 57, 70 (2000). This means that parents have had a fundamental right to make decisions regarding their child’s upbringing since the year 1868.
Laws, to include court orders that are the law of your family’s case, dilute parental rights. States have third party custody statutes, where non-parents, claiming to be “interested,” can involve parents in contested custody actions, opining that it’s in the child’s best interest to be raised by the them. Under authority of these complex statutes, non-parents file petitions in court to deprive parents of constitutionally protected custody rights by keeping possession of a child. They even convince Judges to redirect to a non-parent medical, housing, food, and other government assistance, including legal aid, social security and child support paid by an absent parent. These actions are filed either with no reports to child protection, or after child protection investigates and finds no maltreatment.
Judges delegate to experts. Lawyers, custody evaluators, psychologists, guardians, parenting time expeditors, parenting consultants, therapists, mediators, all get to weigh in on custody. Even after you are done with your court case, these experts shadow your family. Endless opinions of experts, to include other family members and friends, are allowed to evaluate parents who are breaking up, and with the intent to persuade a Judge, often to the exclusion of the opinions of the parent’s themselves.
Judges avoid a presumption of joint physical custody in dividing parenting time, and avoid custody decisions because Judges, parents, and their lawyers, have all missed the point: Just because you’re breaking up, doesn’t mean you are not 100% your child’s parent. The opinion of fit parents should be the only opinion that counts.
“Just because you’re breaking up, doesn’t mean you are not 100% your child’s parent. The opinion of parents should be the only opinions that counts.” —Michelle MacDonald
I am aware of only one district court Judge, new to family court, who in 2010 denied a request to modify a custody order citing Troxel. The mother went back to court with her lawyer to change a pickup time (agreed to in mediation), to prevent the father from taking his son to work and Alcoholic Anonymous (where there was daycare); to restrain the father from legally giving his son rides on his motorcycle, and prohibiting the father from referring to the child by his father’surname.
But Troxel was a fight between a parent and a relative. The other parent was dead.
Does the other parent have to die before family courts recognize that each parent possesses this constitutional right?
“We Live In A Cynical World, A Cynical World. We Work In A Business Of Tough Competition” — Jerry Maguire
A parent’s constitutional right to parent, unless they are unfit, begs the argument that the best use of court discretion in family court may be for Judge’s to refrain from exercising court discretion at all. If the family was not braking up, no court has authority to assist them in their battles. Why not let parents just battle?
Like a Judge who refused to order a separation requested by the lawyers of parents still living together, who were arguing about custody, parenting time, money, possession of the home, and that each should pay the other’s attorney fees.
Then there are other extremes. Like the case where all parental rights to the child are terminated, the adoptive parents obtain a harassment no contact order against a biological father, and the court orders access to the child, and a “parenting” time expeditor, requiring the child’s parents to pay all attorney fees.
Or the case of a biological father, who refused to pay court ordered child support after his son was born, and desired to terminate his parental rights. With no legal or physical custody rights, after child protection legitimately declined involvement, he obtains a temporary sole legal and sole physical custody order without notice to a mother who alone had raised their now 7 year old.
And the family court’s disregard of a child’s perspective, goes beyond disputes between the child’s parents, like the case where a child’s regular visits with her grandparent stop, and only start up again when her mother is jailed for contempt of a court order for grandparent visitation.
Separation, “temporary” custody, asking for as much property and money as possible. It’s posturing. Once a case is filed in the family court, the door never shuts. Cases get resolved by court orders, until a parent, the child or their lawyers, have a complaint about the other parent. Then court involvement is initiated all over again.
And why is it necessary that mediated agreements after final orders be incorporated into a new court order? Like the wealthy father, with “joint” physical custody, paying nominal support since his son was a toddler, who paid his lawyer $30,000.00 to take the mother back to court to change the custody label to “sole”, when the mother’s only objection to their teenager’s new living arrangements was that the father insisted their mediated agreement be reflected in court order.
“I think at this age optimism like that is a revolutionary act” — Dorothy Boyd
Parents disappointed in family court can agree. Eventually, other considerate parents, their lawyers, Judges and lawmakers may come to recognize what I grossly failed to recognize all of these years… Family court is not all that necessary.
“Family court is not all that necessary.” — Michelle MacDonald
Getting a divorce and breaking up is not an emergency. Emergencies involve the police, crimes, domestic abuse, and child protection.
Family court emergencies boil down to being evicted from your home, or when access to money or your children is denied by the other parent. Yet these traumatic events are what family courts are designed to facilitate.
“We don’t need to protect children from fit parents, we need to protect fit parents from the system.” —Michelle MacDonald
Family court’s legitimate function is to record vital statistics, like the fact of your divorce. While the event of divorce should be taken as seriously as the birth of a child, a marriage ceremony, an adoption hearing or a death, the divorce decree itself can be as simple as a birth, marriage, adoption or death certificate. Or might I add a criminal record. Family court does not need to protect children from fit parents. Fit parents need to be protected from the system.
“I love you. You complete me” –— Jerry Maguire
A vendor, calling himself “Donald Duck”, came over to fix my well. After I shared my law firm’s mission statement —“keeping broken families out of the adversary system.”— Donald profoundly said:
“Good luck with that one. No offense, but there is nothing worse than having to involve a lawyer.”
“You had me at Hello” – Dorothy Boyd.
This lawyer’s sentiments exactly.
“Hay, I don’t have all the answers in life. To be honest, I failed as much as I’ve succeeded. But I love my wife, I love my life, and I wish you my kind of success” Dicky Fox
My Mission Statement does not merely complain, but calls on its readers to make personal responses.
WHAT IS YOUR STORY? WHAT DO YOU STAND FOR?
A Unitive System: Restorative Justice 2020 June 27, 2020
When Judge Bruce Peterson says in his article below that we all must take responsibility to replace harsh and threatening environments with more nurturing communities, he knows what he is talking about! Judge Peterson introduced Michelle MacDonald, founder of Family Innocence, to Restorative Circles in 2011, helping to implement in her law and mediation practice a Unitive System of Justice. You see, our current system of justice is a “Punitive” one —-top down and compulsory, where those at the top (ie. judge, jury, police, lawyers, teachers, security) assume responsibility for deciding what will happen to those in conflict. In contrast, a Unitive System is equal and voluntary, where those in conflict meet in a safe space to hear each other out and decide what to do about their conflict. Community and restorative justice practices are worldwide. Call Michelle MacDonald at 612-554-0932 for information. Michelle is a practicing attorney, and statewide candidate for Minnesota Supreme Court Justice, 2020. Thank you Judge Peterson for helping to bring restorative practices to light. https://www.startribune.com/counterpoint-change-for-african-americans-is-about-more-than-sheer-will/571377982/
Lawless Family Court: Videos Series Introduction March 15, 2020
2018 International Conference on Restorative Practices July 31, 2018
By Dede Evavold
Shout out to all peacemakers!
Unique Opportunity to Learn Circles! August 9-11, 2018 International Conference on Restorative Practices coming to St. Paul, Minnesota
Hello. It’s Michelle MacDonald!
Our family culture seems to go from conflict to attorneys and court. Either that, or they dwell in conflict. But there is a better way used around the country and the world. I call it an authentic, holistic and organic justice —–that can happen before lawyers and courts are ever involved.
There is a unique opportunity to be educated and receive training in a powerful form of dispute resolution: Restorative Circles, a restorative practice within the field of Restorative Justice! (See Flyer at Bottom of the Page) Here is the link to learn more: www.irpcminnesota.com
Not only is this the first time this conference is coming to America — it is being held in to our own backyard! Thursday- Saturday, August 9-11, 2018, Metropolitan State University, St. Paul, MN, and we are applying for CLE and ADR credits!
I have had to travel great distances to get the trainings, after Judge Bruce Peterson introduced me to circles in May 2012. Restorative practices are explained like this on my law firm www.macdonaldlawfirm.com website:
Restorative Justice Circles – Here, anyone can begin to resolve a conflict or injustice by starting a “circle.” The process begins by talking to trained facilitator who can meet with you to listen to your problem, and customize what is needed for resolution of conflicts in your home, work or community, based on your personal information and situation. Restorative Justice emphasizes repairing the harm caused by the conflict. When participants meet to decide how to do that, the results can be transformational.
For any of you interested in resolving individual and family, including in your own relationships, this education is invaluable. I have implemented it in my home, with my husband, children, friends, family, law practice, and of course, have been a facilitator for Family Innocence: a nonprofit dedicated to keeping families out of court. Family Innocence will have an exhibit table where we hope to sign up providers to help us, so that the people have access to these remarkable facilitators who do most of their work volunteer, or on a shoe string budget.
You can register right up to the date, and will not be turned away. Hope to see you there!
Family Innocence, Inc
Michelle L. MacDonald
Founder & Volunteer President
Michelle L. MacDonald, Founder and Volunteer President of Family Innocence, a non-profit project dedicated to keeping families out of the adversary process: resolving conflicts and injustices peacefully through Mediation and Restorative Justice & Family Circles.
Michelle can be reached at: Michelle@FamilyInnocence.com or by cell phone at 612-554-0932
A Humanistic Approach to Mediation and Dialogue by Mark Umbreit February 13, 2018
This is what Family Innocence is about! Thank you, Mark Umbreit, for all that you do to promote restorative justice & peace in many realms. But what about restorative justice, mediation and peacemaking in families? Before things get out of hand? That is where Family Innocence comes in…
‘Cooperative Private Divorce’ legislation would remove process from courts
The “Cooperative Private Divorce” legislation would allow couples to form divorce agreements without filing with the court or needing a judge’s signoff. The traditional system would remain in place for others.
Allegations of domestic abuse not protected speech, MN court rules
The Minnesota Court of Appeals has reinstated a defamation suit against an organization that helps victims of domestic violence, ruling that a story told by a man’s ex-wife at an awards banquet and fundraising newsletter is not protected.
Take Me Out To The Ballgame Family Innocence Fundraiser (Twins versus Kansas City 1 September) July 13, 2017
When: Friday September 1 2017
Game Time: 7:10 PM (meet to pickup tickets)
Cost : Tickets $17.00
Where: Target Field, One Twins Way , Minneapolis , MN
Bring the whole family!The Twins will welcome Family Innocence at the 7th inning stretch.Tickets available at this price but prepayment is required by Twins from Family Innocence.Register by calling Michelle at 612-554-0932.
For more details Call Family Innocence: 651-783-5878 (leave a call back number) or email: Clerk@familyinnocence.com Family Innocence is a 501 (c) (3) non-profit
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